Friday, April 29, 2011

VLCD Day 5 195.5 total loss STILL 7lbs!! No loss :(

     Woke up this morning and knew there would be either a gain, or no loss.  I cheated yes I did, I cheated. But it was sooooooo good!  Here's the thing, I know that I am a stress eater, and yesterday I was super stressed and angry.  Still kinda angry today.  Here's the other thing, I am mad at the world right now too, it's not just one person or thing that has set me off, its the lack of foods that I want.  One of the side effects of hcg is irritability, and man, I didn't even realize how miserable and angry I was till I was told I need to reevaluate some things, and every one asking me what the heck is my problem!  This diet, although working, is making me crazy! I am treating people badly and going off on old people.  Somethings gotta give, maybe I need to work some things out with the diet or something, but man, I do not like being angry all the time.  I have been drinking a lot of tea today and had an apple.  I am trying to do an apple day, but if I flip out one more time on someone I'm going to eat a whole lotta crap.  I already know it.  The good thing is that I am not a complete quitter.  I will complete this cycle no matter what.  I know we all have slip ups, I just didn't think it would be me so soon!
--Sooooooo, I did it again.  We had Longhorn for dinner and I killed it!!!  I had a crab stuffed fillet, mashed potatoes, Caesar salad, shrimp and lobster dip, and warm bread.  I messed up BIG TIME, but what did I say?? Tomorrow is another day to try, try, try again.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 4 of VLCD 195.5 total loss of 7lbs

The scale today read 195.5 and like I said the first day, the loss is more motivation to struggle another day.  I took my morning dose and made some peppermint tea, which is sitting up stairs because I went up there and forgot it, and in a few, I'm going to make a fruit smoothie or something. I'm going to try 2 recipes from the books today and hopefully I will be ok as far as the cravings.
--Its going pretty good today so far.  I made some cinnimon apples(about 80 calories, I think) for morning snack and they were great!  The over eater in me tried to come out and make me cheat and make some more, but I heald strong.  For lunch I made chicken soup.  It was good too, I used 3oz chicken(107), water, chicken broth(15), onions and peppers(28), and a bunch of seasonings( about 7).  It was pretty filling and wasn't awful (still missing the pasta and bread tho).  I think later I am soing to make some spaghetti.  I'll make homemade tomato sauce for me and use the regular for the fam.  Of course I'll skip the cheese and the noodles, unless I can find those calorie, carb, and fat free noodles somewhere.
--Hahahahaha that was a GREAT outlook right????  It didn't happen.  I was sooo un motivated for anything, I just dont know what happened!!  I ended up super tired and irritable and made a quick meal of shrimp over Oodles of Noodles with broccoli in it.  I ate the shrimp (14) and like 3 fork fulls of  the noodles, yeah I know, I CHEATED!!!  I had no control, it was like I was a whole nother person!  THEN I had 10 strawberries dipped in chocolate delight!! I think it was the coconut oil that put me over (hehehehehehe!)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

VLCD Day 3! 198 total loss of 4.5lbs

I don't know what happened yesterday, the scale said a drop of only .5lbs!  Maybe too many strawberries? Maybe the sweetener I was using?  Maybe not enough water??  No clue, but I know I will still keep trying and just adjust to everything each day.  I had tea this morning and will try some cinnimon apple cider tea, and maybe some green tea today too.
--We were out a lot throughout the day today and for awhile this morning I started feeling light headed!  I had to run home, skip the dose and eat...fast.  Here's the thing, I made steak and salad, after two bites of the salad I was soooo DONE with that food I just ate the meat and threw the rest in the trash and ate an apple.  I have anger management issues and I have come to see that when I am hungry or unsatisfied I am not a good person to be around.  I was mad at the world because I couldn't have some fries!!  Now as mad and as miserable as I was, I did not break, not one bit.  I took my drops 30 mins later, and wasn't hungry but wasn't satisfied.  I went through the recipe books and everything and NOTHING appeals to me except a TRIPLE bacon cheese burger and large fry (notice it went from a bacon cheeseburger to double cheeseburger, to now triple!!). The cravings are what kill me.  I HATE veggies and that is the base of this diet. If I see or smell another green bean, asparagus, or spinach or ANY salad, I will vomit!!  The meat and fruit is fine, the chocolate delight is good too, but man, I need some fat and bread in my life.
--Baseball game tonight so I cooked dinner early, because I KNEW that if I didn't eat, we would be at Wendy's sooo quick after that game!  I made chipotle chicken and cabbage.  I have no idea about the calorie intake, and frankly don't care.  I know the chicken was 109 calories, the chocolate delight was 80, and the cabbage, I have no idea.  I ate it on the way to the game, and good thing I did, because my bestie invited us out to Friendly's after.  I surprised myself by declining!! YAY MEEEEE! I came home and ate more cabbage, just a little tho, and fed the boys.  That was hard because I gave them buttered bread, and put cheese (Yes I am a rat) on their chicken with salsa.  Took my last dose and ended the night with some tea.
--Let me say this, this diet is the hardest things I have ever done.  I don't know how long I will survive this diet, but I KNOW it works. The question is, is will I let it work.  I don't want food to run my life and make or break me.  Thats what I feel like, the food is running ME!  If nothing else comes out of this diet, I hope that it will be control and will power.  I have to get over this...

Day 2 VLCD 198.5 total loss of 4lbs

Yesterday was soooooooo tough for me, but I know what I have to do.  Up my veggies, take my potassium and during the time that is hardest for me (after lunch, before dinner), I need to up the dose a little. I have never completed any nutrition plan, diet, or exercise plan post children.  I know this is going to be tough for me to follow through, especially with carnival season coming....mmmmmm funnel cake and cotton candy mmmmmmm.
I have to try to stay strong and look forward to the results.  The motivation and support is all around me, Grace, Tiffany, Brandon and all of the other blog sites where people are going everyday losing hundreds of pounds because they needed to make a lifestyle change.  I was watching one lady's vlog and she cried when she hit the scale that morning because she had never been in the 170's!  She had always been big, well into the 200's.  People like that inspire me, if she can do it for as long as she has, surely I can!!
--After waking up and getting my self ready for the kids, I realized that I needed to weigh myself.  So I showered and peed and stepped on....198.5!!  I broke the 200's in one day!! I can honestly say that all that misery from yesterday is kinda worth it.  I am about to have some tea or something and keep it moving!
--Lunch today was ok, I had a shrimp and baby spinach salad with strawberries.  Tea and water only some of the day.  Def not as much as yesterday, hopefully this doesn't affect my loss.  I took a larger dose at lunch to ward off the hunger and cravings.  It worked for the hunger, the cravings however, not so much.  I had a cup cake order for today, it was soooo hard not to eat one.  I just kept staring at them thinking just one lick!! But I didn't cave, now I want a burger and fries and a rootbeer, but I am going to make some steak for din din, hopefully this will cure it.  I also want cheese reeeaal bad! The calories for the lunch was about 120 total and thats a guess.  The spinach was 30 calories for 3 cups, I didn't have quite 3, and the shrimp was 70 calories for 3oz.  I made dressing with some Braggs, basil, garlic, onion powder, and a few other seasonings and water.  Then the 3oz  of strawberries.  About 120 give or take.
--About to take my last dose now, then to the track to walk.  What the heck is a serving of fruit??  I know one apple or a half of cantaloupe, but what about strawberries?  Is it 8oz, 3oz..???
--Dang!! Its 12:10am and I am going to suffer tomorrow!!  I was asleep but these jokers in this house are keeping me up like its 8 o'clock or something. May as well blog right??  I feel really good about today, no hunger and only a little bit of  cravings!!  I did go walking with Tiff, Brandon, and the boys, we did two miles.  I had a few strawberries and two liters of water at the track.  When I got home I had dinner, which was 3oz of super lean steak and stringbeans all seasoned with the Braggs Liquid Aminos.  It was really good!! I didn't even finish all the greenbeans!  After that I made some chocolate delight, and it was really good too, I don't know if its because I can't have regular chocolate or what, but that is not something you would catch me eating on the regular. I ate that with an apple.  I was soooo full and SATISFIED!!  I got really close to the 500 calories too, I had a grand total for the day of 480!! Woo hoo!  I don't know how the loss will be for tomorrow, hopefully good, but I def feel better than I did yesterday. Trial and error, thats how I find out what works.  Tomorrow the same thing, regular dose in the morning, one and a half dose at lunch, and regular dose at dinner.  I still don't know about the fruit tho. In all I had 6oz of strawberries and a medium apple. Is that over?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 1 of the VLCD (Very low calorie diet) 202.5 starting weight

    How HCG works is that you take in a max of 500 calories per day of veggies, certain fruits, and meats.  You almost have to drink your body weight in water through out the day and in turn the hcg will burn an excess of about 1500 calories of stored fat from your body for energy leading to a loss of roughly 25-35 pounds per month, maybe more!  I've seen a guy lose 97 lbs in a month and a half!!  Annnyyyywho, you weight yourself each morning and track the loss.  Today is my first day on the VLCD, and after taking the HCG at 7:10am and weighed in at 202.5 (I guess last nights loading worked teeheee) I had about 10oz of tea and could barely get it down, I was full!  This is going to be tricky to eat a snack, lunch, snack, and dinner PLUS all that water when I'm full off of a cup of tea!!  We'll see tho.
--So I haven't been hungry all morning, but man, I've been peeing ALL morning!!  I have never had to pee this bad this much.  CRAZY. I literally had to pause in the middle of taking the kids to the park and detour to my mom's house before I peed myself!
--12pm lunch time, I had a total of 190 calories from curry chicken, asparagus, and an apple.  The hardest thing is cooking lunch for everyone else.  The kids here bring different things each day, so I had to endure through Oodles of Noodles, Mac and Cheese, hot dogs, and ravioli!!!  It was tough not to 'taste' it and then they waste a lot of it!! UGH KILL ME NOW!  I drank more water and my gallon is almost gone!  Yay more pee!!
-- It is 8:52 pm and I am MISERABLE!  So heres what happened.  I was fine until around 4 when it was time for the kids snack.  This is usually when I snack and kinda pig out on junk until dinner.  I was good and didn't cheat.  Then we went to my sons Tee Ball game and oh man...HORRIBLE! On the way there I passed so many pizza places and hot dog spots, Rita's, a hogie joint, and a steak house.  But wait, that's not the worst part!  While at the game park, someone was BBQing!!  I had to sit there and endure for an hour!!!!  So my head starts hurting a little because of all the WANT.  I got home, took my last dose and made dinner.  I had 3oz of romaine lettuce, wait, I made 3oz of romaine lettuce with crab meat, some salsa, and grape tomatoes and a half of cantaloupe for a grand total of 129 calories, and 322 calories for the day.  BUT the salsa that I got, I never tried before and I just dumped the 20 calories worth on the lettuce and topped it with the tomatoes and crab.  THAT WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING CRAP EVERRRRRR!!!!  I ended up only eating the cantaloupe and scraping as much crab off the salsa as possible and ate maybe a few bites of the lettuce!  Im used to eating a 12oz steak with a loaded baked potatoe and a few veggies and cup cakes for dessert, so this little crap here ain't doin nothing for me!  I am below my calories for the day and don't know what to do but sit here unsatisfied wanting a double bacon cheeseburger and drink water!!  Tomorrow has to be better than this...
Oh yeah, SSA baby!

NOTE* I was not hungry later, just unsatisfied and I didn't take the potassium or eat enough veggies!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Still Loading..........

     Something is definitely not right.  I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 201.5.  I don't know if its the scale, or Im just not loading right!  I was stuffed yesterday on that little bit of food I ate all day, and that is not like me, I hardly EVER get full!  Today I am going to try a little harder to eat more and worse!!  You would thing this is fun, but I feel defeated because I cant eat like I want to!  That's a good thing for when it comes to the VLCD days, but not on my loading days.  We'll see how today plays out...

--9 something am I took the hcg and a half hour later I ate about 2 eggs with cheese.  Not a lot of time, the Kingdom Hall starts at 10 and I'm lollygagging just eating at like 9:50!!  I told y'all I'm a slacker!
--1pm We went to Wendy's and I had the Double Baconator LARGE value meal, oh yeah!! Tore it up, then went to Trader Joes to get the food for the week and they had samples of ice cream cones, of course I had one!
--At like 2:30 I did a good job weighing and separating all my food and putting them in baggies labeled by calories, all while munching on extra crab meat and strawberries that didn't have a place in any of the serving bags.
--3:20 took another dose of the hcg, its getting easier to take as the days go on, but if i do another round, I think I'm going with the injections.  I haven't taken my multi-vitamin or the potassium yet, maybe thats why I am like dead tired?? IDK . I'm going to take the last dose for the day at like 8 something so that I can get a head start on tomorrow!
--5:15 Five Berry Burst OREO'S  OMG them things are ROCKIN!!! I am sure gonna miss thoes :((
--We decided on TGI Fridays for dinner.  I had about four strawberry lemonaids, some kind of spinach flatbread, slizzling chicken and shrimp (didn't finish it all), steak, loaded potatoes, and some OREO Madness for dessert.  UGH, I was sooooo stuffed its disgusting! That was at like 8pm
--9:35 took last dose of hcg for the day. Tomorrows the big day and I feel ready, super motivated!  GN. Its gonna be a busy day with spring break and all!

* Did I mention that I will be training at SSA??

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Loading........

It's officially start day!!  As of 9:10 am I have not taken my drops yet or eaten anything (SLACKER!!).  I have been busy online researching more and have found a whole downloadable book of Phase 2 recipes, tips and tricks, cheating, and other helpful pages!!  I am soooo psyched to start the phase 2 that I can't eat, I'm not even hungry, and anyone who knows me knows that is NOT normal!! I will however post through out the day every time I take a dose of hcg and every time I eat and what I eat, so stay posted!
--Ok at 10:15am I took the drops and weighed in at 202.5.  It was soooo hard to keep the dang things under my tongue and then my mouth filled up with saliva! I still kept the drops in for about 5mins before swallowing. It was HARD! I looked it up on hcg info blog and they all said its normal and to just keep it under there for as long as possible.  Thirty mins till food time!
--11am and I just ate a half a box of Capn Crunch Berries and some Berry Burst OREOS!  I feel sick :(
--2:30pm drops, still hard as crap to keep in my mouth, then at 3:15 I had two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and small fry and large rootbeer!
--I literally slept most of the day away.  I woke up around 7:15 to go to a womans group/girls night with my sister.  It was a lot of fun talking and meeting new people!!  I ate a lot of taco dip (thanks T) some apples with caramel, chips and some mixed drinks.  The crazy thing is that I was not too hungry for anything.  I know this is my loading day, but something is wrong with my appetite.  I eat more than this on a daily basis!! So I don't know if the hcg is hindering my appetite or if its all in my head, but tomorrow Im gonna eat like theres no tomorrow!!
--12:35am just got in and taking the third dose of hcg...yeah i know its late, but at least I remembered to take it!!  See ya in the a.m!

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Dredded BEFORE (shrieks and screams)!!!!


     So tomorrow is day one of loading!  I am excited, scared, nervous, anxious, and any other feeling I could possibly feel.  I am not the one to follow protocol or 'stick with it' for anything!  I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for this for weeks by following other bloggers and vloggers.  I have been weighing myself and cutting calories, and doing TONS of research, so hopefully I'll be ready.  I do plan to work out a little, although between working and doing homework and family, and tee ball games, and baking, I don't know when I'll have time!!  I feel like this is going to be a rocky road because of my lack of will power.  I don't have to be hungry to eat, I just see it or think about it and I want it...GREEDY!!!! But when I was younger I ate like that with no problem, now, I need to push away and its going to be hard to break that habbit.  I have ton of motivation from other HCGers and supportive friends and family, and hopefully, keeping up with this blog will help me to stay focused and on track.  AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  It begins tomorrow, 40 days till a smaller me!

Before pucs: