I don't know what happened yesterday, the scale said a drop of only .5lbs! Maybe too many strawberries? Maybe the sweetener I was using? Maybe not enough water?? No clue, but I know I will still keep trying and just adjust to everything each day. I had tea this morning and will try some cinnimon apple cider tea, and maybe some green tea today too.
--We were out a lot throughout the day today and for awhile this morning I started feeling light headed! I had to run home, skip the dose and eat...fast. Here's the thing, I made steak and salad, after two bites of the salad I was soooo DONE with that food I just ate the meat and threw the rest in the trash and ate an apple. I have anger management issues and I have come to see that when I am hungry or unsatisfied I am not a good person to be around. I was mad at the world because I couldn't have some fries!! Now as mad and as miserable as I was, I did not break, not one bit. I took my drops 30 mins later, and wasn't hungry but wasn't satisfied. I went through the recipe books and everything and NOTHING appeals to me except a TRIPLE bacon cheese burger and large fry (notice it went from a bacon cheeseburger to double cheeseburger, to now triple!!). The cravings are what kill me. I HATE veggies and that is the base of this diet. If I see or smell another green bean, asparagus, or spinach or ANY salad, I will vomit!! The meat and fruit is fine, the chocolate delight is good too, but man, I need some fat and bread in my life.
--Baseball game tonight so I cooked dinner early, because I KNEW that if I didn't eat, we would be at Wendy's sooo quick after that game! I made chipotle chicken and cabbage. I have no idea about the calorie intake, and frankly don't care. I know the chicken was 109 calories, the chocolate delight was 80, and the cabbage, I have no idea. I ate it on the way to the game, and good thing I did, because my bestie invited us out to Friendly's after. I surprised myself by declining!! YAY MEEEEE! I came home and ate more cabbage, just a little tho, and fed the boys. That was hard because I gave them buttered bread, and put cheese (Yes I am a rat) on their chicken with salsa. Took my last dose and ended the night with some tea.
--Let me say this, this diet is the hardest things I have ever done. I don't know how long I will survive this diet, but I KNOW it works. The question is, is will I let it work. I don't want food to run my life and make or break me. Thats what I feel like, the food is running ME! If nothing else comes out of this diet, I hope that it will be control and will power. I have to get over this...
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